Keep On Dancing Michael...

it looks alot better if you click the picture - it will take you to a bigger one...

Maybe in a couple days I will actually be able to blog about this...
For now, I just can't get enough of him, and apparently I can't cry enough for him either...

Love you Michael...

FINALLY!!!!!!!

THE TWILIGHT SAGA: NEW MOON trailer

No More Job For Me

Well, it looks like I will be laid off officially as of tomorrow.... I am a lot more bummed than I thought that I would be.... I really like my job and love most of the people that I work with. Hopefully I won't loose touch with the ones that I have gotten to be pretty good friends with. Bones and Guy especially. Today is slow, and who knows if I will get to stay the whole shift... I know that there is probably something better out there, but I won't get crap for unemployment, and Chris' unemployment has ran out, so things are going to be very tight..... ugh.
I am oight to have a yard sale this weekend, that might help things a little.

Oh How Quickly Good Moods Can Go Away...

As much as I want to be here, my supervisor is kinda being a dick and making me not want to be here. We have been being sent home after about 2 hours everyday, and we hit 3 hours so I just asked him how long he thought that we might be here, and he got like super shitty with me. Totally ruined the good mood that I had going and makes me totally not want to be here. I would just like to go home, but because I am fixing to not have a job, I need to stay as long as I can so that I will have something on my check. So far there are only like 25 hours on the check, and a huge chunk of that will go to my insurance and there is only one more day after today to go on this check.

I did put in my application to move to the Verizon project today. I am really not too super thrilled about that at all, but don't really have much of a choice. I still can't believe that Dell is pulling out of Utah. I did find out that it is just the tech support that is leaving. Sales is still running is Salt Lake. Why can't they go somewhere else? ugh.

Well, I guess I am being sent home after this call that I am on now. It is just a driver install post osri call, so it can stretch out to about an hour if i want it to - lol. I was supposed to go home before, and I was closing everything and my phone rang. this guy on the phone is pushy and impatient and won't let me tell him what to do, even though he called me to get help. fucking ass hole. lol. i get at least one of those every day or so.

I will close this for now and maybe write more later. what I really should do is write to my friends that I haven't been talking to much lately. I don't think that I am that good of a friend...

Goodbye Dell.....

Here are some more ramblings from work... I just got back from a meeting and we found out that Dell is leaving our call center. That means that I will possiblty not have a job much longer. I am a little freaked out, but what do ya do? Oooo I know. Find another freakin job. Maybe I will go work at a scrapbook store. Lord knows I spend enough time there. ugh... I am sure that everything will be okay. Maybe I will have time to get the medical stuff taken care of that I need to and what not. Oh I am a little freaked out, but I will stay 'til the end. Maybe there will be something better for the next project. I heard rumor that Apple was a possibility. There are call centers all over the place around here, so I suppose that it wouldn't be too hard to find something else if I needed to. Well, I suppose that I should actually get some work done. Maybe some of the cert tests - it would be nice to have the certificates I guess. For what, I don't know. Oh yes I do... I would scrapbook them - lol

Rambles From Work

So, I realized that I have been severely slacking in the blogging department. Not really a whole lot going on that would be of much interest to anyone... Maybe I will get better at this... I hope so. I did good for a while, but just haven't thought much about it lately.

Anyhoo, here is what has been going on lately.

I am at work right now, and my average handle time for calls last week was just over 19 minutes - yay - lol. That is a lot better than it has been, and 7 minutes under what my goal is, so I am super stoked about that. Its because I transfer any call that I can though and I have been leaving early a lot - lol. But still.....

On Wednesday, I went to grandma Millie's and we were talking about scrapbooking and I told her that two of my favorite things to use on my pages and cards are buttons and ric rac. There is nothing better than ric rac on anything - lol. I adore ric rac. I found that the quilting store sells it by the yard, and it is cheaper than it is at wal-mart, and it is made by Moda. And BROWN. I can't find brown ric rac anywhere. That totally made me super happy.

I have been scrapping a lot more lately and getting my craft room all set up. We live in a house that is almost 150 years old. There is a nook off the living room that my grandparents (moms parents) used as a TV room, and we have mainly just used it for storage - the storage unit was emptied in there, and there was a computer desk and that's about it. It was Jeff's room when he lived with us, but that was a year ago. We have pulled out the huge desk and took it to the dump, and brought in 4 cabinets and counter tops and that is my work area. There are lots of bookshelves, and storage for all my supplies and projects. I am super excited about it and need to get it set up the rest of the way. It is great to not have to sit in the corner of my bedroom to craft. There is a huge window right by the counter too and that gives great light in the afternoon. I am almost through all of the stuff that I have in my room, and there are still a bunch of boxes to go through, but I will get through it eventually. I am looking for lots of fun storage containers and things for all my stuff. I want the area to be 'me' - retro/vintage feeling, lots of fun bright colors and stuff. I think that I need to make a trip to the antique shop and see what I can find there. Maybe next week.

I can't believe that Charlie is already almost one. How time flies.

I haven't heard from my stalker freak for about a month. About fuckin time he got the hint and left me alone. just thinking of him makes me shudder....

I suppose that since I am at work, I should probably get off here for now and pretend to be doing something work related.....

Maybe I'll be back later... Hopefully sooner than 2 months from now - lol

The Lyrics

If I post lyrics here, the song are more than likely in my playlist....
Or you can youtube them :o)

All Around Me - Flyleaf

My hands are searching for you
My arms are outstretched towards you
I feel you on my fingertips
My tongue dances behind my lips for you

This fire runs in through my being
Burning I'm not used to seeing you

I'm alive
I'm alive

I can feel you all around me
Thickening the air I'm breathing
Holding on to what I'm feeling
Savoring this heart that's healing

My hands float up above me
And you whisper you love me
And I begin to fly
Into our secret place

The music makes me sway
The angels singing say we are alone with you
I am alone and they are too with you

I'm alive
I'm alive

I can feel you all around me
Thickening the air I'm breathing
Holding on to what I'm feeling
Savoring this heart that's healing

I can feel you all around me
Thickening the air I'm breathing
Holding on to what I'm feeling
Savoring this heart that's healing

And so I cry
The light is white
And I see you

I'm alive
I'm alive
I'm alive

I can feel you all around me
Thickening the air I'm breathing
Holding on to what I'm feeling
Savoring this heart that's healing

Take my hand
I give it to you
Now you own me
All I am
You said you would never leave me
I believe you
I believe

I can feel you all around me
Thickening the air I'm breathing
Holding on to what I'm feeling
Savoring this heart that's healed

My Never - Blue October

Will you think of me in time?
It's never my luck
So nevermind
I wanna say your name
But the pain starts
Again
It's never my luck
So nevermind

I had a dream that you were with me
It wasn't my fault
You rolled me over
Flipped me over like a summersalt
And that doesn't happen to me
I've never been here before
I saw forever in my never
And I stood outside her heaven

Will you wait for me in time?
It's never my luck
So I'll say nevermind

And I've lost a lot of what
I don't expect to ever return
I tend to push them 'till the pushings gone
From hurting to burn
I always take them to that place
I thought they wanted to go
Then end up dancing 'round
This clown commands
Applause at a show

I had a dream that you were with me
And it wasn't my fault
You rolled me over
Flipped me over like a summersalt
And that doesn't happen to me
I've never been here before
I saw forever in my never
And I stood outside her heaven
Her heaven
Inside her heaven
Her heaven

And I could only dream of you and sleep,
But I never see sunlight again
I can try to be with you
But some how
I'll end up just losing a friend
And I can only reach for you relate to you
I'm losing my friend
Where did she go?
Where?

And I had a dream that you were with me
It wasn't my fault
You rolled me over
Flipped me over, like a summersalt
And that doesn't happen to me
I've never been here before
But I saw forever in my never
And I stood outside her heaven

I stood outside her heaven
I stood outside her heaven

Will you let me inside your heaven?
Want to live inside your heaven

a late night ramble...

So much going on lately.
Work is good. When it's busy anyways.
Being home is just different...
I really don't ever want to be here.
But here I am. Up in the night.
Because my schedule is so damn screwed up.

I really don't like how I feel tonight.
A little off. I haven't felt that for a while.
Kind of scares me. And intrigues me.
But nothing good ever comes from it.
It makes it harder to fight.

My life seems to be falling apart in a way.
I feel that I am fighting a loosing battle.
Nothing ever seems right.

I never see my kids.
They are gone for school when I get up, and I am at work while they are home.
On the weekends I get to see them for a little bit before I go to work, but thats it.
Oh and for a while on my days off after school.
I guess it's okay. They are all way to attached to me anyway.

I guess mainly I'm just not happy with me.
I don't like the way I look.
There are days when its okay, but those don't come around too often.

I need to find a good balance with everything.
Chris needs to find a job.
He is so damn lucky that we don't have a house payment right now...
We would be screwed. We pretty much are.
I need some real me time.
I need a vacation away from everyone here.
Far away. By myself. To be me.

As I go through old things, I am learning to throw stuff away.
I am a horrid pack rat.
So now if I can't decide if I should keep something or not, I just close my eyes, grit my teeth and throw it out. I could get rid of so much and not miss anything and have breathing room.
I'm sure that the clutter is contributing to the way I feel.
One day it will be better and maybe then I will feel a little better.

I don't know how much longer I can stay happy here.
I am trying. Have been trying for years. I'm getting tired of trying though.
So tired of it.

My best friend lives 1376 miles away.
And the other (although we don't talk like we used to) is 2390 miles away.
I have never actually met either of them.
I would love more than anything to go have coffee with them.
See them. Their faces when they laugh. It would mean everything.

I am really going of on a good long ramble with this one....
I better stop now.
Get my pajamas on.
Eat something (funny how I forget to do that until bedtime)
And go to bed.

and dream of Edward.... lol


Say good night Grace.


I think I am going to cut my hair.
And color it.
Been thinking about that for a few months.
I need to be brave and just do it already.

Graduation Day

Today, I am officially a Dell tech support agent.
I graduate training today...
I am happy, but also a little weary...

After work, I am going to watch Twilight,
and get stuff ready for a 6 hour scrapbook crop tomorrow.
I need to reload the mp3 player to take with me too...
Maybe I will get my Team Edward book going.

Oh how obsessed with that movie am I?
I think more than the MCR obsession that seems to be fading...
I bought Twilight trading cards last night at Hot Topic rather than a MCR calendar - lol

I am reading the Twilight Saga again....
About 2/3 through Eclipse.
I read Midnight Sun before Twilight this time, it was awesome.

I have my little Edward action figure that comes to work with me.
My trainer likes to tease me about him... I like that he does... *sigh*

I am rambling...
But thats okay...
That is what this is for...

I think I have gotten over my little geek crush on my classmate...
It has moved to my trainer... I don't know why, but it has....

Yay for graduation day!